shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So many bounce houses so little time
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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