You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
