When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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