wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Randomize
