The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm really busy with my period
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