I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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