I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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