It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
