Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
