can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
