I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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