Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
