OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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