dude i'm inner monologue high
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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