wat bout pragnant strippers??
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
