told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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