some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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