Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
