remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the day after is always just damage control
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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