im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
