Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
