Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
