I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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