I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
