Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
