So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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