watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
