what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
