I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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