We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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