i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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