The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
