Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
