Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize