So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
