Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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