now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
