dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
