I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize