Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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