Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
