once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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