I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
