C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
