Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
