I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my being single is dangerous.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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