Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
