This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need to calm my uterus...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
