Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's not a foreskin expert like you
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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