FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
