i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
