I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
