He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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