I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
