Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
