You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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