What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
