What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
