So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
