I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
