and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
