Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
