I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
