"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
